


The one that got away

by listenup_folks



Category: fifth harmony - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 10:26:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11667240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listenup_folks/pseuds/listenup_folks
Summary: Lauren tasted like cigarettes and black coffee, which made sense considering, but in hindsight Camila wishes she would've tasted like the heartbreak she never saw coming.





	The one that got away

Camila liked to think of herself as a unique person.

She isn't really, she knows that much, but she likes to think she is. Like she wants to be an author, which she knows, a lot of people do, and she prefers dogs over cats, which she thinks makes her different cause she's gay and should like cats but like, a ton of gay people prefer dogs over cats.

She's not actually that unique, and when she graduates at second in her class with the great, mystical major of psychology (which is probably the least unique major ever), that's hen she realizes she's not that unique. 

It's fine honestly, being unique isn't everything. There's too many people to be unique and she realizes and accepts that fact the summer after high school. 

It's a bit weird and she takes note of how extremely ordinary she is as often as she can now that she notices it. Little rings like the "relatable posts" on twitter are more relatable now than ever, and in comparison to her old self it's weird to see how she's always kind of related to them. 

Life gets a little easier though when she's not constantly judging other people for trying to fit in. She sees that even though some try too hard to fit in with the norms, everyone honestly kind of just does. 

It's hard to stand out without being the most annoying fucking person ever and she now understands the fitting in isn't as boring as it was when she was trying so hard not to. 

Now that she's normal though, and finally accepting it, she finds herself marveling in the few people she sees that are different while managing to not piss her the fuck off. 

She finds one of them in a place she usually avoids because of how extraordinarily basic it is which is so ironic that she can't help but be intrigued. She should've seen the sign. 

So the barista at Starbucks is like, probably, and not to exaggerate, but probably (certainly) the most attractive person Camila has ever laid eyes on.

And like, so Camila walks by Starbucks a lot on her way to the bookstore she visits (like the hipster she is) every weekend, but she never goes into Starbucks because she doesn't want to seem basic to the old lady who runs the book store and aways complains about "basic little girls trying to seem cool".

When Camila sees this girl in Starbucks while walking by though, she can't not go in.

She doesn't know what it is, some pull at first that makes her glance into Starbucks which she usually doesn't do. Once she sees the raven haired girl standing at the counter it's like her body is on autopilot until she's found herself in the lengthy line leading to the girl she's still staring at.

She has dark eyeliner, not too dark but dark enough to make Camila even more intimidated. Her hair is dyed black and Camila doesn't think she's ever seen someone pull off dyed hair so well.

Her eyes are what strike Camila and make the feeling of being basic worth it. They're striking. Unique, bright, captivating. Emerald. In color that is, they're a green Camila has never seen and doesn't think she'll ever see again in her lifetime so she lets herself get lost in them. Hell, they are the most amazing eyes- scratch that, things Camila has ever seen and they're not even looking back at her.

Until they are, looking back to her that is, they're looking back to her and there's a smile in her eyes that turns into a smirk and shit Camila was caught staring and did that thing where she doesn't realize she was caught until like ten minutes later.

It's a bit awkward because she's suddenly next in line.

"Hi, yeah umm can I get... caramel macchiato with mocha, please?" she asks once she realizes the man in front of her is done ordering and her zoning out has made this awkward, as if she isn't already awkward enough when ordering anything from anyone, especially when anyone looks as hot as the barista she was distracted by in the first place does.

"Iced or hot?" the barista asks with a teasing look because like, yeah Camila forgot to say iced but it's fucking ninety nine degrees out obviously she's just an asshole barista who likes to see people flustered by how good looking she is.

"Iced," Camila replies, blushing and annoyed and hot and god this barista is hot too. "Sorry about that," she adds after a moment and the raven haired girl writing doesn't look up from where she's printing Camila's order onto the cup but she does smirk in reply to Camila's awkward add on.

"Name?" barista girl says after a moment and Camila doesn't really get why, oh for the cup of course, don't be dumb Mila.

"Camila," she supplies after a moment too long and the barista is still smirking so damn her.

"Beautiful name," barista replies and Camila feels herself blush some more before getting the idea to find barista's name but the tag is kind of messy. Scratch that it's very messy, smudged and not at all eligible and- "It's Lauren," barista, wait no, Lauren cuts in and Camila's eyes snap up from her tag to her face where she's still smiling but not really smirking per say. "I don't like it being visible on that in case guys try to flirt but yeah, it's Lauren."

"So are you saying it's okay if I want to flirt with you then?" Camila replies before she realizes what she's saying and immediately feels all the blood rush to her face because like, she can flirt but not with pretty baristas while there's a line forming behind her.

"Damn, shy girl can pull lines huh?" Lauren smiles back through a chuckle and Camila can't help but smile then despite being embarrassed and awkward as fuck. "I'm impressed," she continues as Camila hands her a five dollar bill and Lauren passes the cup on to the person who actually prepares it. "That may be exactly what I meant though, I guess you'll have to find out. But for now... I have a line, sooo..."

"Right, yeah, right of course, I'll just umm... go over there," Camila stutters out nervously, flushing more when Lauren cracks a smile at her. "Thank you," she adds again, hoping she obviously means about the order, Camila has manners and knows not to leave a woke without showing gratefulness even for the smaller tasks.

"Yeah pleasure doing business with you," Lauren grins and it doesn't seem as teasing at first before she adds, "let's do it again some time."

Camila is too busy smiling about pretty girls to notice the bookstore lady's glare at the cup. (and too busy to remember she doesn't really even like coffee that much).

-

She texts her later that night, fuck the three days rule she can't not text someone who so easily caught her attention.

-

"Fuck Lo," Camila moans out as the girl beneath her nips along her neck.

It's trashy, at least a little bit, Camila knows to be straddling a girl she's known for all of two days (if the first even counts) in the back of a mall garage parking lot, but she can't find it in herself to care.

They hadn't stopped texting since the first and Lauren begged her to see a movie with her and who can refuse that charming smile. The movies was next to the mall which explains the current location since apparently parking for the mall instead saves time on traffic pulling out, but Camila doesn't pay attention to that, just the way Lauren's hand feels in her own, on her legs. 

They'd been talking for a while, like a long while about everything and nothing and it just felt really right. Which is probably why when Lauren's hand ended up on her thigh and then she was being led into her lap and she obviously didn't, couldn't flinch away.

Sure, maybe the hot barista was just trying to get in her pants, maybe the deep stuff from before had just been an act, but Camila didn't really care because anyone who's that good at acting deserves something for their performance. But like, she doesn't think it was an act, so she doesn't worry about that.

She doesn't worry about the stretching of her favorite top either when Lauren's hand scratch up her sides to grip her waist under the fabric.

"That good baby?" Lauren hushes against her neck as she makes it to her collarbone and sucks hard, leaving a mark after a moment that Camila doesn't think twice about.

She does however tangle her hands in the messy hair that first caught her eye and tug Lauren back up to connect their lips, moaning into it when Lauren's hands fly south and grip her ass tightly. In turn Camila tugs at the raven locks earning a whimper from the girl beneath her that makes her smirk into the kiss.

They continue for a few minutes, both girls lacking the air necessary to keep going but not having it in them to stop.

Lauren is the one who finally does, latching onto Camila's bottom lip before pulling away, nipping it one last time before leaning her forehead onto Camila's sweaty shoulder and sucking in breaths that the younger girl matches.

That's all there is or a moment. The sound of their berthing, heavy, and tired, and not anything else until it isn't anymore. They manage to catch their breath and then it's just quiet. Well, other than the quiet murmur of "I Promise" by Radiohead (Camila's favorite) that Lauren had accidentally put on loop like two hours ago and didn't have the effort to change.

"Damn it," Lauren finally whispers against Camila's shoulder, placing a soft kiss on the skin before pulling back to lean her forehead against Camila's and continue, "you're pretty good at that," she says, smiling, then laughing softly as she leans in for another kiss, letting it linger before pulling back to look into Camila's eyes again.

"I can say the same to you," Camila says quietly, tempted to lean back in but Lauren beats her to it. "Let's do it again some time."

-

 

They do. Do it again that is. They meet up a lot actually within the next week to talk, and to kiss, and to do a lot of things together and it's only a week later that they've slept together. 

The first time is on a picnic blanket Lauren had brought to her favorite lookout spot watching the sunset. It sounds romantic, kind of. Camila makes the argument to Dinah who looks at her with utter bewilderment when she finds out they slept together. 

Camila had always taken sex seriously, which is why she's only ever had it with her ex girlfriend Ariana after like a year of dating, but it's different with Lauren. 

She doesn't tell Dinah how the girl had thrown a hand over her mouth to muffle the noises while the fucked her roughly with her three fingers, she didn't say how she took a break to smoke a cigarette before burying her face between Camila's legs and licking into her until she came two more times. 

She doesn't tell Dinah that Lauren refuses to talk about her past and how her smile shows all of her pain and nothing at all. 

She just told Dinah it was the sunset. And even if maybe Lauren didn't acknowledge that fact, and even if a week later she still refused to talk about anything relating to them, she hoped what she was telling Dinah was enough to be true. 

So they sleep together. And they talk, but about everything other then their relationship. Camila thinks (hopes) Lauren just gets too nervous to bring it up, that's why Camila doesn't at least. 

It's kind of like they're dating though, and Camila wonders if this is just an adult way of doing it since Lauren is twenty and she's finally out of high school. 

They go on dates, it's not like actually spoken that they're dates but Lauren pays most of the time (Camila pays the other times) and they hold hands while they're there. 

So like dates, hand holding, kissing, Camila likes the direction it's going in. 

But then suddenly she doesn't because Lauren introduces her as a friend if they run into anyone she knows and lets go of her hand around certain people. (People that look at Lauren a little too long for her liking [she pretends not to notice Lauren looking back at them]). 

And it's fine. It's still unspoken, everything is unspoken, but Lauren is Lauren. 

Camila spent her life wanting to be different and now she's kind of dating someone who's so spectacularly, fascinatingly different than anyone she's ever met and she'll be damned if she lets anything ruin it.

She knows more about the older girl at this point, and she knows enough about herself to know that she's hopelessly falling, but she doesn't think Lauren is the type for relationships so she takes what she can get. 

-

Lauren asks her on a date on July 28. They met a month before and yeah they'd went of dates but Lauren had never called them dates, so Camila doesn't stop smiling for a whole day leading up to the event. 

It's just their usual date, going to a restaurant that's cheap enough and laughing the whole time because they click without effort so obviously the conversation is good. 

Everything is working out too. Camila is more smitten than ever with how polite Lauren is with the wait staff, and she way she holds her hand walking in despite the numerous people that could or could not know her. 

She orders Camila's meal for her and gets her favorite despite never having been to this specific restaurant together and Camila thinks maybe Lauren really has just been nervous to make the move. 

It goes to shit when their waitress gets a plate of the messiest possible food spilt on her across the room and they get a new server for the time being. 

"Lauren? Hey babe what're you doing here?" the new, Lucy her name tag reads, waitress smiles as she walks up to the secluded table they'd managed to snag with the check. She's pretty and so charming looking that Camila shouldn't be shocked when Lauren smiles back. 

Lauren doesn't say they're on a date and it feels like a slap in the face. Not that they're exclusive or anything (obviously since Lauren doesn't seem to have any long term goals), but Camila feels kind of like someone kicked her in the stomach when Lauren flirts back for a few moments. 

She must notice Camila's wounded puppy expression a minute into the conversation though because she reaches for her hand under the table and even though it's under the table Camila lets it comfort her. 

She doesn't know if it was under there so that Lucy wouldn't notice or something, but the girl does and rolls her eyes before moving on. 

Camila spends the nigh being annoyed with Lauren and Lucy, thinking about how maybe Lauren is a little too nice to the wait staff, but then she realizes that Lucy is being used the same way that she is and gets over herself. 

She decides to do her research instead. 

-

She finds out the Lauren's been casually seeing a few other people and it feels like a house is collapsing in on her. She can't really breathe for a while, or at least that's what it feels like and she can't find any reason to not cry for the rest of the night. 

Dinah calls her because apparently they were supposed to meet at the movies, but her witty insult about always missing times is wiped away when Camila answers the phone with a cracked voice and a broken sob choked back. 

The taller girl holds her for the rest of it, mumbling about how she always had a bad feeling and how that "dumb ass never deserved her anyways." 

Camila thinks it's ridiculous that she wants to argue how Lauren deserves her and anything else she desires in the whole world. She wishes she could give it to her still too. 

She doesn't get a text from Lauren that night like she usually would to meet at a park or come outside to her car and Camila assumes it's because she must be with another one of her girls. 

There's nothing unique about heartbreak. 

She hears from Lauren the next day and she ignores, the message because Dinah is still with her and she knows she shouldn't crack. She wishes she could say she was able to stay that tong but the next day Dinah went home to check in with her mom and she ended up texting Lauren about a plan for later that day because nobody was there to stop her. 

Hanging our with Lauren is different when she knows that she isn't her only one. 

Surprisingly, Camila finds the balls to call her out. 

"So Lucy?" if that counts as calling her out, but Lauren does freeze a little bit. 

"Camz I can-"

"You don't need to explain anything Lauren we're not like," she pauses to gulp in a breath. "I just don't like your girlfriends dropping in when we're on a date, okay? I didn't know you were seeing other people and yeah, it hurts but-"

"Was seeing other people," Lauren cuts in and Camila's head snaps up so fast she gets whiplash. "Camila I'll admit I've been seeing people and it wasn't until last week that I pulled my head out of my ass and came to terms with how I feel about you. 

"I can't apologize enough for what happened on our date but I'm just, I'm not used to commitment but I want to try," Lauren continues and breathes deeply before continuing, "I understand if you don't want to deal with this, and me and-"

"I do," Camila breaks in and Lauren looks back up at her with a small smile. 

"I'm willing to try, and I'm hoping you'll accept that and maybe be with me a little more seriously? I really, really like you Camila Cabello."

"I will," Camila replies, she's no dummy and she hesitates to keep Lauren on edge, but Camila knows Lauren enough to know she already was on edge just a skiing that, she knows how bad Lauren is with her feeling sos the fact that she just told her all that is enough. 

It's enough for now. 

-

It's tough at first, for Lauren to shake all of her past flings. 

Apparently Camila had been more willingly oblivious than she realized because it seems like everywhere they go now some girl is eyeing Lauren up and down in a way that means she's had her. 

Lauren is good at reassuring her, really really good and by the time another week passes she asks her to be official. Like them, together, officially and exclusively together and, well Camila is on could nine for like, a week. 

It's mid august when things go down hill again and it's her fault this time. 

She's excited for college, because through Lauren she's decided to change her major to creative writing and literature, and actually go for her goal since she never had had the balls. She shouldn't have talked about how excited she was to go hundreds of miles away. 

Wisconsin offered her the best scholarship and was the best school, but Wisconsin to Miami is a bit of a stretch. 

So Lauren comes to the conclusion that she can't wait to leave her and thats' their first real fight. 

Then it's a downhill road. Nothing but angry sex with rough hands all over Camila's body and empty beds afterwards. When they try to talk something comes up, whether college or Lauren's exes, or the lack of milk in Lauren's fridge, and they fight. 

And really it's simple as that. A summer fling is a summer fling for a reason, and Camila terrifyingly realizes that's what this has been a week before her flight. 

She spends a day crying and then a minute convincing herself that wasting time is a no no from now on. 

She thinks maybe Lauren realizes the same thing because she fighting stops. They'd realizes how limited their time was and that turned the angry sex to slow, steamy sessions every night in an actual bed, where Lauren would draw "I love you" into Camila's stomach with her tongue (even if she never said it out loud it was something), and Camila would tangle their fingers afterwards so they could just be together. 

The fighting ended because there was nothing to fight about when they pretended there wasn't. They talked about a future they probably would never have together and a relationship that wasn't about to die. 

The last day is the worst because that future they're talking about is so far from the truth that al they can do is lie together and pretend their world isn't their world. 

Lauren spends the last hours thinking about how she shouldn't have wasted so much time denying her feelings and seeing other people, and Camila spends her last hours thinking about Lauren. 

"You're going to do great things Camila Cabello," Lauren had whispered with a kiss to her head and a small smile that Camila could still see through before leaving Camila at her doorstep. 

That was twelve hours before she left for the airport, and how it ended.


End file.
